Raising children who think for themselves

From the book jacket:

Raising Children who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves.

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You’re Wearing That?

From the book jacket:

Deborah Tannen’s #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship.
It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own.

Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves?
Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.

With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.

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Advanced black-and-white photography

Features techniques for achieving high quality at both the camera and
darkroom stages of making a photograph, with emphasis on image control,
appearance, and fine-art presentation. Includes toning comparisons as
well as a section on hand-coloring prints.

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Parenting Teens with Love and Logic

From the book jacket:

When kids hit their teen years, parenting takes on a whole new dimension. As they struggle toward independence and autonomy, some dicey issues emerge. And the real world you want them to be ready for can make you shudder — kids today face life-and-death decisions long before they’re on their own.

So what do you do? Hover over them so they won’t get hurt? Drill them so they’ll do the right thing? According to Jim Fay and Foster Cline, hovering and drilling won’t prepare teens for the real world. Because they learn responsibility like they learn everything else: through practice.

That’s where love-and-logic parenting comes in. Love means giving your teens opportunities to be responsible and empowering them to make their own decisions. Logic means allowing them to live with the natural consequences of their mistakes — and showing empathy for the pain, disappointment, and frustration they’ll experience.

Whether you’ve used the love-and-logic approach all along, or are looking for some extra help during adolescence, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic will give you a fresh look at:

* The difference between punishment and consequences

* How teens deal with self-esteem, control, descisions, and consequences

* How to set up situations so your teen can learn constructive lessons about responsibility

* How your kids grow from childhood to adolescence — and how you can grow with them

* The internal and external changes your teen will go through

* Parenting “pearls” that deal with everyday struggles

When you parent with love and logic,  it’s a win-win situation. You win because you’ll learn to love in a healthy way and effectively guide your teens, without resorting to anger, threats, and power struggles that will haunt them along the path to adulthood. And your teens win because they’ll learn responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems and acquiring the tools they’ll need to cope with the real world.

As a parent, you face no greater challenge — and no greater opportunity –  than to guide your children through their teen years toward productive, happy,  and responsible adulthood. Parenting Teens with Love and Logic will help you meet that challenge and rejoice in that opportunity.

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The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook

From Library Journal:  

This book excels not only in explaining the cause and nature of anxiety disorders and phobias but also in describing treatments. Director of the Anxiety Treatment Center in Santa Rosa (California), Bourne emphasizes the cognitive-behavioral model of treatment but includes information on biopsychiatry, intense psychotherapy, and spirituality as additional treatment modalities. This is truly a “workbook,” with exercises designed to facilitate recovery, either through private use or in conjunction with professional therapy. If your library already owns the 1990 edition and money is an object, you can probably pass on this revision, which updates the definitions of anxiety and phobia so that they conform with the new DSM-IV diagnostic criteria and includes new information on the biological causes of anxiety and related treatment developments. However, if your collection lacks a good lay reader’s book on anxiety and phobia, this is an excellent choice. – Jennifer Amador

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Taming Your Inner Brat

From the book jacket:

“Why did I say that?” “I can’t believe I ate all that!” “What was I thinking?” Every
one of us has said or done something that we later regret, even though we know better. And we’re likely to do it over and over again. There are specific reasons why we repeat such patterns, reasons embodied in a concept called the “inner brat.” Not a psychiatric diagnosis, this inner brat nevertheless gets us into trouble. Taming Your Inner Brat
explores the inner brat in all of us, explaining its psychological roots in early childhood and why bratty thoughts, feelings, and behaviors persist. It also addresses social and cultural conditions that encourage the self-centeredness and sense of entitlement upon which the inner brat thrives. Learn to recognize the inner brat and acquire specific strategies and skills, based on the latest research from experts in the field, to bring it under control. This book is about personal responsibility. We are not victims of our own impulses, addictions, or bad memories. No longer can we say, “The devil made me do it,” or, “It’s my parents’ fault.” Dr. Wallin shows us how to view ourselves objectively to bring problems into manageable perspective and make changes that last.

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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin

From the book jacket:

Are Your Boundaries Being Violated?

Boundaries separate us from others physically and emotionally. In fact, they are essential for our mental and physical health as well as for developing healthy relationships. Yet every day, people’s boundaries are violated by friends, family, or coworkers. Despite the importance of personal boundaries many people are unaware of how or when these very important lines are crossed.

Which of the following are boundary violations?
Esther tells Betty a secret Mary told her.
Your therapist invites you to go for coffee.
Your boss wants to know the details of your personal life.
Your boss asks you if you’d like a hug.
Mom tells little Debbie about her troubles with Dad.
Your new neighbor pats you on the bottom as he turns away.
Your mother makes a comment about your being overweight.

All but one of the above incidents violate boundaries (your boss asks you if you’d like a hug). In Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, Anne Katherine explains what healthy boundaries are, how to recognize if your personal boundaries are being violated, and what you can do to protect yourself.

For anyone who has walked away from a conversation, a meeting, or a visit with others feeling violated and not understanding why, this is a book that can help.

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Presenting to Win: The Art of Telling Your Story

From the book jacket: In Presenting to Win: Persuading Your Audience Every Time, the world’s #1 presentation consultant shows how to connect with even the toughest, most high-level audiences–and move them to action. Jerry Weissman shows presenters of all kinds how to dump those PowerPoint templates once and for all–and learn to tell compelling stories that focus on what’s in it for their listeners. Drawing on dozens of practical examples and real case studies, Weissman shows presenters how to identify their real goals and messages before they even open PowerPoint; how to stay focused on what their listeners really care about; and how to capture their audiences in the first crucial 90 seconds. From bullets and graphics to the effective, sparing use of special effects, Weissman covers all the practical mechanics of effective presentation–and walks readers through every step of building a Power Presentation, from brainstorming through delivery. Unlike the techniques in other presentation books, this book’s easy, step-by-step approach has been proven with billions of dollars on the line, in hundreds of IPO road shows before the world’s most jaded investors.

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

 

From the book jacket: John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life’s work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

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The Shame of the Nation

 

From the book jacket:“The nation needs to be confronted with the crime that we’re committing and the promises we are betraying. This is a book about betrayal of the young, who have no power to defend themselves. It is not intended to make readers comfortable.”

Over the past several years, Jonathan Kozol has visited nearly 60 public schools. Virtually everywhere, he finds that conditions have grown worse for inner-city children in the 15 years since federal courts began dismantling the landmark ruling in Brown v. Board of Education. First, a state of nearly absolute apartheid now prevails in thousands of our schools. The segregation of black children has reverted to a level that the nation has not seen since 1968. Few of the students in these schools know white children any longer. Second, a protomilitary form of discipline has now emerged, modeled on stick-and-carrot methods of behavioral control traditionally used in prisons but targeted exclusively at black and Hispanic children. And third, as high-stakes testing takes on pathological and punitive dimensions, liberal education in our inner-city schools has been increasingly replaced by culturally barren and robotic methods of instruction that would be rejected out of hand by schools that serve the mainstream of society.

Filled with the passionate voices of children and their teachers and some of the most revered and trusted leaders in the black community, The Shame of the Nation is a triumph of firsthand reporting that pays tribute to those undefeated educators who persist against the odds, but directly challenges the chilling practices now being forced upon our urban systems by the Bush administration. In their place, Kozol offers a humane, dramatic challenge to our nation to fulfill at last the promise made some 50 years ago to all our youngest citizens.

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